


we burn alive (to keep warm)

by Oceantail



Series: Oceantail's ATLA fics [12]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: (i hate saying crazy but yea), (in a sense), Angst, Autistic Zuko (Avatar), Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Child Abuse, Crazy Azula (Avatar), Gen, High School AU, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Modern AU, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Protective Azula (Avatar), excessive use of italics and strikethroughs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26810140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oceantail/pseuds/Oceantail
Summary: Zuko shuts down. Azula screams.They burn.My take on the bathtub/taser scene fromhearmerory'sLike It Didn't Matter(theChange of Addressseries). Written before I read the actual scene.
Relationships: Azula & Ozai (Avatar), Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Oceantail's ATLA fics [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805656
Comments: 7
Kudos: 112
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	we burn alive (to keep warm)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hearmerory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearmerory/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Like It Didn't Matter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26570587) by [hearmerory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearmerory/pseuds/hearmerory). 



> When I read [Like It Didn't Matter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26570587), I didn't even get to the end before I whipped out Google Docs to type this fic out hot damn. Lightning speed typing holy shit.   
> This was written before I read the actual scene later in the series. 
> 
> Whumptober 2020 No. 25: Disorientation (it's very on-brand of me to be doing this out of order :))

“Zuzuuu.. Zukoo Zuzuu,” his sister warbles, voice high pitched and singsong. “ _Zuzuuuuu_!!”

Zuko couldn’t move, _he couldn’t move_ and she was coming closer and closer and closer and her voice grew higher and higher and higher and it was _ear-splitting_. If he could _just_ _move_ he would cover his ears and stop the sound the ear-splitting sound oh god why couldn’t he _move!_

“Father hates you!!” Azula screamed, voice no longer an unstable wail, but an angry _screech_ , “Father hates you!!! Father wants me to _kill_ you Zuzu!!”

_Hecouldn’tmovehecouldn’tmovewhycouldn’theMOVE!_

She was staggering towards her and she looked _crazed_ but who _was_ she!? This isn’t Azula , Azula was perfect _always_ perfect but _she_ was imperfect _imperfect hair imperfect makeup imperfect posture_ and What was _that_!! It descended down down down and struck the center of his chest and it _BURNED_.

Burned hair. Burned flesh. and still can’t _move_ , can’t _run_ , can’t _fight_ _back_. And it HURT oh _god it HURT!_

His breath catches in his throat and the air escapes, dances out of reach like it’s _taunting him_ and he chokes—

And. His heart. _Stops_.

_PanicpanicpanicpanicpanichewasgoingtoDIEthiswasithewasreallygoingtofuckingDIEDIEDIEwhatwouldmothersaywhatwouldunclesay._

The pain in his chest is unbearable and he still can’t breathe _~~(when could he ever breathe he was always choking always dying)~~_ and the sound of Azula’s cackles blasts through his head and it hurts to even _think! and he feels himself—_

**Shut**. **_Down._**

* * *

She’s cackling and laughing and she _sounds crazy_ and Zuzu was still spasming like a dead fish in the water dead _dead like twitching those pathetic turtles and ducks he loved that MOM LOVED mom only loved Zuko never her ~~(unlovable, a monster)~~ but she’s not dead, ZUKO is dead dead dead!_

Father was still yelling, oh why won’t he _shut up!_ She wasn’t Zuko, she didn’t deserve to be yelled at she was perfect she was always _so perfect_ not like Zuko who was dying dying in the blood-red water—

Azula jerks forward like a puppet on strings and grabs at her brother, at Zuko, who was still _fucking spasming all over the place. He's dying!!! he’s dying he’s dying and it’s all your fault!!_

Father-in-the-flesh was gone, but Father was never _really_ gone, was he? He’d always be in her head in her head _get out of my head!_

_“Kill him.” Father orders and she listens oh god why did she listen!!!_

An ear-splitting scream makes her flinch and she realizes and she's the one screaming and it hurts so she screams to drown out the scream until Father’s voice is drowned out DROWNED OUT _drowned like Zuzu submerged in the water is he drowning??!!_

She reaches down to drag Zuko out of the bathtub and he slips out of her grip and onto the floor, eyes glassy and skin starting to turn blue, _blueblueblue like the taser ~~lightning~~!_. Was he breathing?! _HE’S NOT BREATHING._

She can save him, she can kill him, she can do anything she’s _AZULA. She’s prodigious. She’s perfect._ She received perfect marks on her first-aid/CPR training _perfect marks perfect perfect of course Azula was always perfect._

Pinching the bridge of his nose, she breathes into his lungs, almost gagging on the exhale, it was burningburningburning and it smells like charred flesh _~~like the first time when Father melted Zuzu’s face off (a warning to her on what Father could do!) and it smelled like burned flesh for days and she would never get rid of it!~~_

Hands find Zuko’s chest and she sits up and pushes down with all her might. _Zuzu Zuzu Zuzu wake up wake up wake up NOW!!_

A siren sounds, then again closer this time, ripping into her eardrums like a cannon. She screams and pushes again and feels his ribs crack under her hands. _Scream_. Push! _Scream._ Push! _Scream. SCREAM!_

The stench of burned flesh is overpowering and she almost throws up over him, over _Zuzu, imperfect broken Zuzu—_

There’s someone pulling at her arm and she tears herself out of the grip and crashes on the bathroom tiles and its so cold on the floor and she’s sobbing and crying and screaming and _she can’t see anything_ and the room is blurry, _~~is it her tears or her mind finally crumbling??~~_

A tall figure reaches for Zuko _(for Zuzu, for her BROTHER)_ and she launches herself towards them, _she was always stronger than him she could defeat them she can protect him,_ overshoots, and her head slams into the sink and it _HURTS_ and her mind rattles in her head and her ears are ringing and everything _hurts so much._

She’s screaming again, _~~though when did she ever stop!!~~_ and her vision swims and people are yelling and it’s so _loud_ ( _isthiswhatit’sliketobeZuzu?!)_ someone is grabbing her and she feels herself being lifted into the air and—

**everything. went. _DARK_.**


End file.
